I can't believe it, but I actually went to see Bret Michaels last night with Heather and some of her other friends. Surprisingly, it was a good show! It was weird to quite possibly be the only 100% sober person in the crowd, but I still had fun. Before the show got started, we got our picture taken with "Big John," whom I'm sure in a few years I will not remember. I will probably look back at the picture and wonder who that random dude is. The show was great, Bret Michaels is a really good performer, and he played a good mix of new stuff and Poison songs. He played a few covers as well. I was so very tired by the end, though, so I was grateful when it ended.
I went to the doctor today because the pain hasn't subsided. He did an ultrasound, and it turns out I have an ovarian cyst and that has been what's causing me pain. He said it's no big deal and should go away in a couple of weeks. The awesome thing is, I got to see the gestational sac, so I sort of saw what there is so far of my baby! It was really cool. It's nice to see proof that I'm definitely pregnant, besides a positive pregnancy test. And now I don't have to freak out every time I feel a little twinge.
I'm so bloated already... I ordered a bella band today. I can't believe I ordered a maternity thing. Yesterday I ordered a pregnancy book and a book about caring for a baby. I have no clue about infant care, so this should be really helpful to me!
I've been having sharp pains off and on, on my left side, all day. The first one this morning was so bad I had to stop what I was doing and rest for a moment until it passed. Other than that, it has been rather mild, but still scares the crap out of me considering what happened last time. Steve was worried and convinced me to call the doctor... and I'm glad because she made me feel a lot better. She said it's most likely just normal growing pains, and that I shouldn't worry too much unless there is spotting as well, which so far there isn't. She did say, though, that if it continues tomorrow I can call the office and get in for an ultrasound just to make sure it's not an ectopic pregnancy. The thought of that itself is scary, because it would automatically mean that I'd have to terminate. But I don't think that's it... it's probably just growing pains. She even said it's common to have them on just one side. So I'm trying to stay positive and just hope that everything will be all right.
I'm so excited that I don't have to work tomorrow. I definitely do not regret taking the day off. It just so happens my first doctor appointment is tomorrow too! And then I'll have time to pack and get ready for the trip to Fairfax. I hope everything goes well at the appointment, and I am still hoping and praying that I get to have a healthy baby this time.
This morning, I gave in to temptation and took one of the cheap pregnancy tests. I figured I have a bunch of them and they're cheap anyway, so what's the harm? Well it was positive. A faint positive, but still positive. I'm actually not too excited about it yet because of what happened last time. I also know that since I tested so early, it could wind up being a chemical pregnancy. I'm going to wait until Friday and try again.
I want to be excited... I really do. But I'm worried that I'd be setting myself up for disappointment if I allow myself to be. So for now I'm trying not to think about it too much. Steve said he's not that excited yet for the same reasons I'm not. It was hard for both of us to have our hopes dashed last time. Not really looking forward to that again.
My cycles apparently aren't as long as I thought. So when I had the miscarriage, I thought I was only 4 weeks, 6 days. But I was really 5 weeks, 3 days. I know in the end it doesn't make that much of a difference... it's only 4 days. But it feels almost like a bigger loss now.
Everyone says that Marcie will be waiting for me in heaven. I wonder if my poppyseed will too. Maybe Marcie is taking care of Poppyseed.
